i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
