wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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