We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
