An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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