When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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