Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
