I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
vagina is talking i cant
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
