How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We have started to decorate penises.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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