chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
