My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
