I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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