just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
