Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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