I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
last night I used snow as a chaser
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
