i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize