And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
