Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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