Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
