I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
