literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
sarcasm needs its own font
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
