Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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