Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
