i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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