Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize