Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
