i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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