and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
