Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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