so explain again why im purple
no
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The struggles of a small town man whore
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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