so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
