omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
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