My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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