i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
