I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
