I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
