I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
