My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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