are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
