Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So much rum. So many feels.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
