It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
