You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
