everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
