so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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