So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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