my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
