Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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