I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
