Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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