Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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