he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
