Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
