oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
