I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
