Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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