listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
