Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
