is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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