areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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