So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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