I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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