You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
