My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
