well most of my day revolves around power hour
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
