I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Someone shit on the floor
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this will be a night to untag.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
